Communications

Most of us communicate actively every day. However, sometimes our communication is not received as it is intended. This section contains articles to assess our communication styles and to improve our ability to say what we want in a manner that is well-received.

Communication — Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence 
Adolescents often are not great communicators, particularly with their parents and other adults. When parents know where their children are and what they are doing and when the adolescent knows the parent knows, adolescents are at a lower risk for a range of bad experiences. It is easier to communicate with a young teen if parents established this habit when the child was younger. Learn more...

Connecting with Your Kids: Strategies for Tough Conversations 
The challenge for parents is to learn to listen and to be available without being pushy. They must find ways to talk about the hard stuff, so that the child feels comfortable sharing with their parent(s). If parents can control their emotions and keep the situation safe, the child may be able to  share their deepest worries. Learn more...

Expressing Your Feelings in Relationships 
If you want to share your feelings about a behavior that you find bothersome, it is important to know what not to do. Some ways of expressing feelings are not helpful because they tend to threaten others. One of the most common of these ineffective approaches is called the "you-message."  Learn more...

Listening Well 
One of the most important steps to having good relationships at work, at home, and with friends is to listen well. It might be surprising that for most people, listening well is very difficult. Misunderstandings are very common in interactions between people as a result of poor listening. Learn more...

Self-esteem and Anxiety in Teens: 5 Ways to Start Real Conversations with Your Teen 
The parent's job is to be a coach and not to step on the court - it's to coach from the sidelines. Parents should remove themselves from the court. They are not doing their child a favor by playing the game for them. Parents sometimes get in there because they want to help, but if they are doing that, ultimately they are handicapping their child. Learn more...

The Magic of Dialogue
Apart from its obvious practical value for problem-solving, dialogue expresses an essential aspect of the human spirit.  Learn more...

Anger Cues and Control Strategies 
In addition to becoming aware of anger, individuals need to develop strategies to effectively manage it. These strategies can be used to stop the escalation of anger before loss of control results in negative consequences. An effective set of strategies for controlling anger should include both immediate and preventive strategies. Learn more...

Are You an Enabler? 
If you are involved with an addicted individual, become as independent of the individual as you can, develop new support systems for yourself, and to the extent feasible let the costs of addiction fall on the individual, not yourself. Learn more...

Assertiveness 
Assertiveness is a manner of behaving that communicates respect for others as well as commands respect for yourself. Learn more...

Answers to Common Questions about Counseling 
Throughout life, there are times when help is needed to address problems and issues that cause emotional distress or make us feel overwhelmed. When experiencing these types of difficulties, individuals may benefit from the assistance of an experienced, trained professional. Learn more...

Assessing Young Children’s Social Competence 
Research suggests that a child's long-term social and emotional adaptation, academic and cognitive development, and citizenship are enhanced by frequent opportunities to strengthen social competence during childhood. Learn more...

Being an Effective Parent – Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence 
Parents often become less involved in the lives of their children as they enter the middle grades. But the young adolescent needs as much attention and love from their parents as they needed when they were younger. Learn more...

Children of Alcoholics 
More than 6 million children live with at least one parent who abuses or is dependent on alcohol or an illicit drug. Learn more...

Conflict Management 
This article provides a brief overview of conflict and strategies for preventing conflict, assessing and resolving conflict, and negotiating a win-win solution. Learn more...

Conflict Resolution
Broadly speaking, conflicts occur when our needs and expectations for others are not being met, or our limits are being pushed too far. When you do decide to clearly communicate what you want from someone, it is very important that you do so kindly, directly, factually, and non-aggressively. Saying something nice, or complimentary, is generally a good way to begin this process. Learn more...

Destructive Thinking: Can You Stop the Cycle? 
Depression may trigger an explosion of negative thoughts. When people are depressed, such negative thoughts occur literally hundreds of times a day, each time generating more misery and pessimism. Learn more...

Different Types of Parent-Child Relationships 
There are at least four kinds of attachment relationship categories. The categories describe the ways that children act and the ways that adults act with the children. The strongest kind of attachment is called 'secure.' The way a parent or provider responds a child may lead to one of the four types of attachment categories. The way a child is attached to their parents also affects how they will behave around others when the parents are not present. Learn more...

Divorce and Children 
Although not all children who experience divorce have problems, children of divorce are twice as likely as children living in nondivorced families to have emotional and behavioral difficulties. Learn more...

Don’t Get Even-Get Equal 
When problems come up in social situations, many people assume their only choices are to be pushy or be pushed. Manipulating others is not the answer to personal powerlessness. Learn more...

Emotional Fitness for Intimacy 
Focusing on integrating continuous positive behaviors into your overall lifestyle is paramount to maintaining a good, loving and intimate connection. Learn more...

End-of-Life Care: Questions and Answers 
The end of life is different for each person. Each individual has unique needs for information and support. The patient's and family's questions and concerns about the end of life should be discussed with the health care team as they arise. Hospice care often provides such services. Learn more...

Fathers and Discipline 
Discipline refers to training and teaching specific behaviors of selfcontrol and moral development. This is a tall order for all parents, yet one that has historically been embraced by fathers. Learn more...

Girls, Aggressive? 
Society's attention on aggression in children has focused primarily on boys. Many of us assume boys are more aggressive because their forms of aggression are more visible. We see them hitting or fighting on the playgrounds or in our homes. Girls are more apt to focus their aggression on relational issues with their peers. This kind of aggression is done with the intention of damaging another child's friendship or feelings of inclusion within a social group. Learn more...

Helping Your Child Learn Responsible Behavior 
Adolescents do best when they remain closely connected to their parents but at the same time are allowed to have their own points of view and even to disagree with their parents. This page contains some tips to help balance closeness and independence. Learn more...

How Can We Strengthen Children’s Self-Esteem? 
Children with a healthy sense of self-esteem feel that the important adults in their lives accept them, care about them, and would go out of their way to ensure that they are safe and well. Learn more...

How To Stop Arguing – and Start Talking – with Your ADHD Child 
This article teaches parents to help children turn their ability to argue into a positive trait rather than a negative one. Learn more...

Infidelity 
Affairs can be devastating to a marriage and can cause tremendous emotional distress to the offended spouse and children in the marriage. Learn more...

Life Changing Tips For Boomers 
When an event happens today that your brain reads as being similar to something that happened in the past, your brain may respond as if it were the first time this event occurred, even when you are well into your adult and/or senior years. Learn more...

The Worry Trap: An Interview with Chad LeJeune, PhD 
While worrying about someone or something may indicate that we care, worrying and caring are not the same thing. Worriers often confuse the two. Learn more...

Tips for Dads: Practical Tips for Knowing Your Child 
First, a father should listen to their children. Also, fathers  should listen to their child's friends, teachers, coaches, and, especially, their mothers. All of these people see a different side of the child, and they will give dads insights they would have never noticed on their own. Learn more...

Working with Older Patients: Talking About Sensitive Subjects 
Many older people have a "don't ask/don't tell" relationship with doctors about health care problems, especially about sensitive subjects, such as urinary incontinence or sexuality. Hidden health problems, ranging from foot disorders to mental illness, are a challenge. Addressing problems related to safety and independence, such as giving up one's driver's license or moving to assisted living, can be difficult. Learn more...

Written Expression Disorder 
Students with written expression disorder have writing skills that are significantly below what is normal considering the student's age, intelligence, and education. The poor writing skills cause problems with the student's academic success or other important areas of life. Learn more...